Just from conversation and experience, I find that our generation is in love with the idea of love. Everything that surrounds it excites us. We’re still super young, but most people already have their ideal fantasy. So many of us know exactly what we want from a partner or even just a friendship. I recently had a brief discussion about love languages, which prompt me to write about it!
What is Love Language?
Love Language is often used in marriage counseling or therapy, but people who have used it have found it to be beneficiary to their relationship (couples who are not married). In every relationship, both individuals have their own love language and it is important for the couple to understand one another’s language. If lacking understanding, it can cause high emotions and avoidable conflict.
The Actual Love Languages are:
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
There are many different ways to discover your preferred “Love Language.” They even have quizzes online that you can take! It may not be completely accurate, but they are kind of fun to test out. I have attached a link to a quiz that you guys can take.
Words of Affirmation
“You look good!”
“I miss you and I wish you was here.”
If you are someone who appreciate words, compliments, or just simple yet powerful communication you are in favor of Words of Affirmation. Personally, this is my favorite love language because it reassures a person who may need it every so often. If you are in a relationship with someone and they constantly reassure you, appreciate them! It is the perfect example of “It’s the little things that count.” If you find that your partner is somewhat insecure, even in the slightest, Words of Affirmation may help them significantly. Even if you’re someone who struggles with giving out compliments or just communication, it is a good start when trying to further a relationship.
Tell your partner little things like, “I appreciate you.”
“I was thinking about you earlier.”
“Have a great day!”
In short, Attention.
ALL of YOUR Attention.
Sounds excessive but in reality, it’s not if you enjoy the company of another person. You will want to be around someone if you truly like them. People make time for what they want. Simple. Keep in mind that Quality Time requires undivided attention from both individuals. Time is everything and it can easily be wasted; However, experience can come from these situations. Spend time with your partners! Talk! Put phones away. PERSONAL OPINION: I hate the movies. Sorry but not sorry. I feel like I could do that alone. Dating is about getting to know someone which requires talking. We cannot do that at the movies.
Acts of Service
Another great example of “It’s the little things that count.” Anybody who is close to me knows I love Chick-Fil-A and it would be an Act of Service if someone kindheartedly purchased me Chick-Fil-A *hint hint* Acts of Service: Doing things you know your partner appreciates without being told. These acts show your “love” or true feelings for he/she. There’s so many examples! Cooking your boos favorite meals, random phone calls, routine communication, assisting with school-work, WHATEVER THEY LIKE & YOU KNOW IT.
It matters the most because it takes time, thought, and energy!
“Actions Speak Louder Than Words”
EVERYONE LIKES GIFTS. DO NOT LET ANYBODY TELL YOU THEY DO NOT LIKE GIFTS. PEOPLE STILL LIKE SURPRISES. GET IT TOGETHER!
Gifts speak volume. Very loud volume. It is literally a symbol of your love for your partner. You thought about them and that’s what matters! The cost means little to nothing. City Girls got young men upset because they think we (as females) NEED a Chanel Bag (it would be nice) but we appreciate anything given because you took the time, thought, and energy once again. Gifting your partners SHOULD not stress you out. Pay attention to the things she/he likes. If you are new to such things, ask questions and learn how to go about it. To not try and to never gift is corny!
Especially, if you’re one who brags about having the funds. Let’s be real.
That’s a totally different conversation though.
Did you know that Babies who are kissed, stroked, and held develop a healthier emotional life than those who are not? Tea for me LOL. Physical Touch is apart of communicating emotional love. There are people who find it VERY important and there are others who put it at the bottom of their list. Someone who sees it to be very important can/may feel “unloved” if their partner stops holding their hand, kissing them, or stop sexual intercourse. For those who struggle with insecurity, they gain security with physical touch. It is essential for those married because it is form of communicating marital love. For many reasons this language can be difficult, but it is a primary love language.
Hopefully you guys picked up a few gems!
Enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing. this.
Have a conversation with your lil boo after reading this. LOL.