It’s been awhile! I could come up with 1000 excuses but I don’t even feel like doing all of that. Let’s just cut to the chase. I want to talk a little bit about friendship. I’m at work currently but I like writing when I have a clear mind. It’s pretty quiet now and I don’t want to lose my train of thought.
–But back to what’s in important.
I’m a huge Chance The Rapper fan & one of my favorite songs by him is “Summer Friends.” In the song, he highlights the importance of summer friendships while speaking on the violence that takes place in the city of Chicago during the season.
I’m at an age where I really understand what “Summer Friends” actually means. For some people, summer is THE best times of their life. I’m people actually. I’m happiest during the summer & that’s partially because I hate school lol. For others, summer is dreadful because we lose people. Inner cities face an increase in gun violence during the summer. Everybody’s outside and there isn’t much to keep people busy and off the streets. NOT THAT WE SHOULDN’T HAVE FUN OUTSIDE. Summer violence is a topic in itself but I’m not really heading in that direction just yet; However, everybody please be safe this summer.
Summer Friendships are usually very genuine, but it also helps you understand who your real friends are. Remember back in grade school when you wouldn’t see some of your school friends until school is back in session the next fall? In middle/high school you begin to classify them as “school” friends. Meanwhile in the summer, you’re having fun with your friends. Like real friends. GANGNEM lol. You have time to learn how to be friends with other individuals and you learn the importance of friendship. As I began adulting, I noticed that you can have “Summer Friends” year round. You don’t have to force energies. There’s relationships we try to keep up with because history/time spent, but it should never be like that. “Summer Friends” is basically an analogy for the genuine individuals in your life. I’m getting older so I’ve began realizing that the number of summer friends isn’t as large as it used to be. That’s expected!
We grow apart. You realize you and a former close friend(s) really don’t have much in common. Sometimes a falling out occurs and things never go back to what it used to be. Such is life! Peacefully moving on is completely fine. There’s people who don’t believe you can cut ties and still wish people the best. Those are the ones who never look to see where they went wrong in friendships + relationships. In any friendship + relationship, understanding and communication is important. If an individual refuses to come to an understanding through communication that relationship becomes pointless. It’s actually not healthy because there will be so many issues that’ll be put under the rug which will lead to a build up of bs. The easiest thing to do is to go separate ways! I’m not advocating “cutting people off” but I’m a firm believer in subtracting what’s not adding. Quite frankly, everyone and everything does not deserve my time.
A “Summer Friend” aka your “Real Friends” will understand all of this. Throughout the friendship, they should be willing to learn more about you. Key word ‘should’ because people don’t do that anymore. Everyone just assumes they know everything when that’s impossible. We’re growing and changing everyday. Certain things change overtime. People change. Just take the time out to learn a person you really care about. “Day by day” as Ski would say lol. I have life long friendships. I like to call them “My Forever Friends.” We may not speak everyday but they know that the love WILL forever remain the same. It’s never questionable.
The real tea is people much rather scream “they don’t need anybody” than work on themselves to better relationships in their lives. Some just don’t know how to be a friend. Your friend shouldn’t beg you to be there when they’re battling something. You’re supposed to be there instantly. Your friend shouldn’t beg you to support his/her business. They shouldn’t even have to ASK. Off rip, you should be promoting & supporting. AND DO NOT TRY TO SUPPORT THEM WHEN THEY ARE ALREADY DOING GOOD. It’s about seeing the vision nobody else sees. Support them from the roots up! You know who genuinely wants you to do better when they promote on their own. Take a look at your “friends” when you speak of your good news and see how they react. That’ll tell you enough about them and the relationship. Real friends are always happy for their friends. Jealousy, envy, and greed has no room within solid friendships. Respect your friendships at all cost. Never treat them how you wouldn’t want to be treated. It’s very simple.
I titled this “I Would Always Treat My Gang Like Family Members” because I really value the friendships I have. I try my best to show it too; However, I may fall short. But one thing for sure, I know how to communicate because for THEM I’m willing to do so. I’m willing to come to an UNDERSTANDING. I’ll never want the ones I love thinking I don’t care about our relationship. I’ve never been the type to act like I didn’t need anybody, but I don’t need just “anybody.” Meaning I will never keep a meaningless relationship going.
Like I said, we change and grow apart but never automatically take that as your peers “switching up.” It’s apart of life! My closest friends and I do not speak everyday & that’s because we all value our personal space. Never get upset with your friend for wanting time to his or herself. Another thing I wanna stress is NEVER SPEAK BAD ON SOMEONE YOU WAS ONCE CLOSE TO. For us females, this is hard because we love to talk. I say we because I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of this. That’s just what we do. But when you and someone fall out please peacefully move on with your life. The tweets, memes, post, or whatever shady gesture you do really won’t change much. Save yourself the time sis!
One thing I’ve learned is that if your heart is pure and you do your part in any relationship you’ll always come out on top. A clear conscious is always the best feeling.